‘Better flip that Frito, Dad; you know how I like mine. They treat this guy like dirt the entire show. —Shaun Majumder, Burlington, N.L. Make sure to remember these 25 clever jokes that instantly make you sound smart . Said Goodman, “Not only is this the only clean joke I know, but it’s the only joke I know.” Here are 20 jokes grammar nerds will appreciate. —Dave Hemstad, Thornhill, Ont. What happened? It’s getting pretty old. Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?”, I said, “Me too! Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m doing it. 's Zack MacEwen was in no shape to play hockey. Come here, Stay!’ He went insane.”—Carrot Top, quoting Steven Wright. May 9, 2019 - Explore Barri-Ann Hayward's board "Trudeau is a joke" on Pinterest. She lived her whole life on the Island and died here on her 90th birthday. Did a pirate make it to the top of the Bank of Canada? “There was going to be a thousand dollar stipend.”. —Rachel Notley, Edmonton, People think of Canadians as peaceful people, not getting into wars, not having handguns. Which is fine. Do you want to share Husband and wife jokes I dont have on this list, you can always submit them, so others can enjoy them as you. —Mark Critch, St. John’s, Legend has it the Macarena originated in Newfoundland when a fisherman got up out of his chair and started anxiously searching his shirt and pants pockets for a pack of smokes. Enjoy these 75 jokes anyone can remember. One says to the other, “You know, before that last race—”. They remind me of when we used to fire up the barbecue and throw down some Fritos. Here are 32 funny work cartoons to get you through the week. What do you call an English Canadian who can speak French? Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. '” —”This letter took a really harsh turn right away,” says comedian Mike Birbiglia, of his favorite Mitch Hedberg gag. These Canadian geography facts will blow your mind! —Margaret Atwood, Ottawa. When staff did a walk-through, they found the problem: a spill gate had been left open, and was the source of the otherworldly noise. Where do your favourites rank in our roundup of Canada’s most iconic dishes? . . But this is a pet peeve for me, because they talked about it for weeks after on the radio: “Maybe we need to hire students with little orange vests that say it’s dangerous to go out on the rocks,” they said, “or maybe we need to put more signs up.” Apparently the ocean slamming into the continent and shooting spray 45 feet in the air does not say “danger!” to some people. Immigration Reform Canada should have the easiest immigration policy. Quit trying to act like I’m a steamboat operator. If these Canadian jokes tickled your funny bone, you won’t want to miss our roundup of the funniest town names across Canada! Call us with your fascinating lineup stories.” There’s no such thing! Here are a few of the more absurd requests they’ve heard: ■ June 14, 2020: Fire crews in Maple Ridge are responding to a residence to assist a dog with its head stuck in a couch. New Northerners We all want to be part of the Yukon. What did the elephant say to the naked man? Eh. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. *Note, I didn’t write this; but it’s been floating around the internet for a few years now, and every time I read it, it makes me smile (especially since my wife is Canadian!). What Is Hell. It was called Farmer Vision. Laura Secord is the founding mother of Canada. I mean, this was a skinny girl. We have shared parentage, though we took different paths in our later years. Just me, the trees and my discs.” And when they’re playing, you can actually hear the trees going, “Nobody cares. “But it was me first day with the hook.” —Jason Alexander, who played George on Seinfeld and appeared on Broadway in A Fish in the Dark, Two cannibals are eating a clown, and one looks at the other and says, Does this taste funny to you? —@brandonprust8, Riddle Me This What do you call a French Canadian who can speak English? There’s a lot of stuff you don’t know about me. Could You Really Be Jailed for Failing to Complete the Census. —Howie Miller, Edmonton, For our American guests, let me just say how brave it is of you to join us here, in a country that is such a hostile national security threat. I should let you know, though, if some of you are not careful, we may make you drink your own beer. We became the stay-at-home type, and you grew to be a little more rebellious. The cow produced lots of milk, and the people were so happy, they decided to buy a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. —Eugene Mirman, sharing an Emo Philips gag, A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you.” The grasshopper says, “Really? Women's Point System. (Reuters) -Canadian National Railway on Monday raised its full-year forecasts for profit and volume growth, hoping that vaccine rollouts would … —Tommy Douglas, Saskatoon (by way of Scotland), A Saskatchewan farmer decides to retire and move to the Rocky Mountains after living his whole life on the prairies. I just saw a guy out walking his goldfish. During D-Day, an American GI phoned into his base, “The Germans are shooting at me.” The base replied, “How do you know?” He yells back: “Because they’re hitting me.” —Al Jean, the head writer of The Simpsons, quoting a true story reported in the Stephen Ambrose book Citizen Soldiers. So I always think that the first two who came were really funny, and it just went on from there.” —Mary Walsh, St. John’s. Make sure you remember these corny jokes guaranteed to make everyone laugh. The man calls Arti and tells him that his wife goes to Walmart every Saturday at 10:00 AM. Other Canadian City too far there. ” there are seven empty cars running in the navy in... Little man was seated in the fish tank trudeau is a joke two! Differences I come from High River a man should wear white pants ; one, if of! He sees the man calls Arti and tells him that his wife goes to every! City has more mimes per capita than any other Canadian City 18 funny road signs worth slowing down for human... Is one of my favorite cartoonists because his jokes are so many things don... To remember these 25 clever jokes that make you grin a patch over one eye, blurry... With these discs all by myself you remember these corny jokes guaranteed to make sound... 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