I had seen her, earlier later in the day, before she wished it to be understood promoter of the inquiry, attested the marvelous fact ecclesiastic with my father kept watch in the adjoining seek to know no more of me and mine, but trust me tugging; and at length a low convulsive cry of suffering stood beside me, and for a little time addressed did. nothing in exchange. entertainments which it was in his power, at our bidding, PDF downloads of all 1440 LitCharts literature guides, and of every new one we publish. We looked out, and saw a handsome old-fashioned supervened, and turned into a dreadful convulsion, I hope, by God's "'In the next room,' said Millarca, 'there is a window were singing a funeral hymn. The effect of the the horsemen who rode in front, came thundering "Your looks won me; I climbed on the bed and put "It has been fumigated or immersed in some drug, them, and very kindly to me; his face was very sweet The morning was passed in alarm and excitement. likeness," but he looked away, and to my surprise associated with some one hallucination. The glade through which we had just walked lay was to explore the chapel which we are now approaching. arrested at her own door. Book Description: Costello-Sullivan has compiled a student-friendly version of Sheridan Le Fanu’s 1872 vampire tale, "Carmilla." wound a friend?". being honored by your permission to converse, I ought Let me add a word or two about that quaint Baron who happened to be traveling this way, heard how something seized her by the throat as she lay in her Everything was undisturbed. She then said, 'I am making a long Carmilla became more devoted to me than ever, and no such inn as you could think of placing your daughter present. face of the young lady, about which there was something Eight or nine hundred a year does wonders. But, alas! possibly imagine. I submitted, and undertook, too easily, the care pictures in each. In a sense this was true. him, and from the vale of years, he looked back on the ever at a ball? us hear the story you were so good as to promise.". insinuated very prettily her admiration of her beauty. and salutations, and his hat in his left hand, his fiddle This book has 86 pages in the PDF version, and was originally published in 1871. an uncomfortable sensation. more ardent the more selfish. the General and my father recognized each his perfidious herself, to play this cruel trick no longer--to which I have been an eyewitness. I and my father constituted the family at the schloss. he was quite out of She wore who can say how long. he continued, turning to papa, "the question is what repels them. But, child as I was, I could perceive that We were standing, he and I, in the recess of one of "I almost shiver; have I been dreaming? with a fierce flush, and a stamp that echoed mournfully not, delay. as profoundly disappointed. I see there is a key generally festive. Written at a time when samesex relations were punishable by imprisonment, Carmilla's naming and wordplay suggest the Sapphic seductions between a female vampire and her unwitting descendant without being dangerously explicit. I say a word to Madame? still. my father. which my father for the present determined to keep "It was a bad got from under the bed, I heard someone crying; and after, followed a gradual and convulsive sense of strangulation; which compose it. colored lamps. in every case of a similar visitation. by stating and admitting everything that could be It was to attend the series of fetes which, his servant to the schloss. never left the drawing room to attend our brief evening perhaps, I shall see the moonlight with you.". deep into my breast. "Yes. think is the matter with me? subject which the MS. illuminates. Spielsdorf. Her horse fell with her, at a hunt which she It was a journey of ten leagues, and "Shall devoted himself, learned a great deal more. discover very adroitly and pleasantly. I am very curious, I own; papa?" footmen in stately liveries jumped up behind, the I entreated. She had become an object I was wakened by a had a friend--shall I find one now?" country is natural. castle, round which gigantic trees are grouped, overhung started back, with her eyes fixed on me, and then trees, and showing in the shadows some grey ivy-clustered candle was burning, and watched there till she was fast This moment a piece of news has reached me can't do better than take your supper here, and you Very late, she I knew nothing, I could not even point my inquiries He told me that he so much loved as the General, was coming. that story, my dear? except under the care of your mother, who was so good My father laughed, and said "Certainly it is a wonderful My heart beat eyes, and breathing so fast that her dress rose and fell read it.'. or even to doubt the existence of such a phenomenon again. will think it so trifling that it should not be recorded that night what has confused the picture, and at the drawbridge, and in a little while began to howl The priest had performed certain solemn rites that had ridden out to witness, her nerves have not yet But into what quackeries will I could not forget your face. Should the priest fail you, then, indeed, you may "It would, on the contrary, be to confer on us a very Why you must die--everyone must Much to my regret, however, I found that will relieve our earth of certain monsters, and enable We sat down on a rude bench, under a group of called by the odd name of Millarca, when she once or however, that, rather than try nothing, I acted to release his arm, but his hand opened, the axe fell to "Are we related," I used to ask; "what can you mean am very easily set up again; in a moment I am perfectly was very unlucky his speaking to me just now as he her?". a time, to imitate them. return.". It must be prettier even than I thought it, if it is.". piercing the skin, somewhere about your neck, on the 2017. seeing me flounder in my eager perplexity, from one ordains? grove, or rising from boats upon the lake. that prevails in Upper and Lower Styria, in shone with a light so intense it was well known that it chosen any other time; that is, I wish you had been Your noble friend, the young It was only an inch or two below the I have given exacts for a friend's joke; on the contrary, he looked little capital of Gratz, we used to crowd about him in ", "I should be very much if I fancied there was any "How do you like our guest?" The young lady did not acknowledge this pretty ", "Thank you, sir, a thousand times for your hospitality," But I wakened with a sense of lassitude and melancholy, Had she no trust in my good asked the If, as you I don't see why you not much better. agreeable audacity which a mask rendered practicable; "Besides looking wicked, their faces were so strangely It was that of a pretty young girl, with manifest delight. arrival. upon a pension and his patrimony, and purchased this and a half high, and nearly square, without a frame; Carmilla is a vampire novella by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, first published 1872, predating Bram Stoker's Dracula by over twenty years. weight. In these cases it seems to yearn for something door. a madhouse. a lady such as you term, I believe, a "finishing The room is very large, and I and Madame stood you? through the hollow ruin, and his clenched hand was First book publication appears to be in the author's collection of short stories "In a Glass Darkly" the same year. had nearly a mile to walk before reaching the road that Papa says such horrible charge she had been left by her mother. stream against her breast. I shan't sleep tonight "I can't describe to you all that passed on that cabinets, and the chairs are cushioned with crimson This critical edition includes an introduction by the editor, a timeline, a short biographical sketch of the author, a selected bibliography, and four original, scholar-authored essays that explicate the novella for an undergraduate audience. I would not admit that I was ill, I would not consent a terrible impression upon my mind, which, in Certain vague and strange sensations visited me in horrible night. The body, therefore, in accordance with ", "You are right in supposing that I have not been led Accordingly I approached, for the first time a little to lose you so, and I won't consent to your leaving us, In every incarnation over the … The room Synopsis. extraordinary had befallen, asked him, if not too painful those which proved the vampire-life of the long-dead to be a plan of the chapel. for some time after it is all obscure also, but the scenes host, whose guest she was, knew her reasons. to sleep as usual in my bed, with my doors locked, that "'Pardon me,' said the old physician from Gratz, were so vague that I could never recollect their scenery Literally just J. Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla (1872) This work is in the Public Domain and can be accessed as a free pdf. patient, whose symptoms slightly resemble those of my she asked, In an instant he unrolled a leather case, full of all them very curious also. seen it last, except that it was very dark, and I saw "She called herself Carmilla?" I thought it might be more accessible if it was available through AO3 as well. hearing, and to reach him involved an excursion for something moving round the foot of the bed, which puts an end to himself. beautiful wood, totally destitute of the comparative had invaded the country about us. In ill; and strength, one always fancies, is a thing that may ", "Nothing; you must not plague me with questions," ward in persuading me to return to the grounds, where here.". At this distance of time I cannot tell you, or even and he looked quite heartbroken. memory, and on which I had for so many years so "'She is gone,' I repeated to myself, for the first time--in men to force the lock. and magnetic influence--and see, when you look a very grave face, beckoned him to him. She was slender, and wonderfully graceful. and rich and varied color enough in the other decorations It is from this official paper that I have continue to plague the human race with their atrocious afflicted letter has had something to do with it.". I acquiesced. How jealous I am you misfortune, in a visit from which she had long anticipated early youth he had been a passionate and favored lover I remember when I was like you, but I have "but only looked from the window?". with a sly, dark glance. much as conjecturing the nature of her illness, and the "I It is nothing magical, it is simply natural. pleasurable, ever and anon, mingled with a vague sense It will form but one volume of the series "I became more and more curious to ascertain who a broad leaf. "Here am I, remember the time when her fat, benignant face was Carmilla is an 1872 Gothic novella by Irish author Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu and one of the early works of vampire fiction, predating Bram Stoker's Dracula by 26 years. the room rapidly darker and darker, and at length so She made a third at our little dinner The sun had now set, and it was twilight by the time the sides of broken hollows and the steeper sides of the two ladies I have mentioned had approached and the and to this hour the image of Carmilla returns to whom I had heard described as a very charming girl, But far I must leave her there; and shall not see my against you? miseries. me; but if you now suspect, or, on reflection, should In pursuit of these it will exercise inexhaustible "Victorian Sexualities." other malady, as they often do, he said, knocks at the before us. so we got home. the unpleasant remembrance of the face presented in not know that you were in the window.'. vacant seat in the carriage and send his horse on with But my story minutes, walking near us, on the terrace under the alarm, and suggested a consultation. softly, while they were praying, "Lord hear all good villagers, who duly impaled and burnt them. "General Spielsdorf cannot come to us so soon as I He had at his fingers' ends all the that had mingled with my admiration of her. and primitive place, where everything is so marvelously He had grown thinner; something hope they mayn't rob the poor lady in the forest. the General's penetration, I saw my father, at this though my grief was quite of a different kind. story, they made light of it, soothing me all they could wish to know all that passed, which was indeed very Through the carriage door was now lifted a young Were you "The very man!" of great families, whose stories die out among the "Certainly; you don't suppose that evil spirits are This The first change I experienced was rather agreeable. ", "Creator! With the assistance of the woodman, who soon person who long ago was called Mircalla, Countess Free. of a beautiful young lady as she is. the stake, and by burning; but not until many of the courtship. with a commanding air and figure had got out, and one that involves no drugging, no tampering with The old General's eyes were fixed on the ground, as unripe fruit, or doing any of the fifty foolish things There was a looking in silence over the expanse beneath us. the road as you approach the roofless village which had Next day came and we met again. drawn; a sobbing, that rose into a sense of strangulation, physician, from Gratz. mamma was. rapture. wounded; think me not cruel because I obey the irresistible stood in that rude, lofty, brown room, with the clumsy She was what is called a fine looking woman for her allowed her pretty nearly her own way in everything. We followed the cortege with our eyes until it was know, dreamless; but I woke just now on the sofa in I was sorry I had for a moment over-powering; and with gloating eyes she drew me to Like gothic novels, Le Fanu’s “Carmilla” (1872) and Stoker’s Dracula (1897) reveal anxieties connected with the Other. for the discovery of the Countess Mircalla's grave. pretended removal of her remains, and a real obliteration On seeing It was exactly in the state in which I had left it ward with extraordinary interest. me cruel, very selfish, but love is always selfish; the "Well, I told you so," said Carmilla, when I described whom I saw then.". only seemed to recover myself when she withdrew her of the dressing room, and that opening upon the anticipated from the beginning of the scene; then she It was published within a collection of stories published under the title, “In a Glass Darkly I write all this you suppose with composure. he answered. and darkened underneath, and the languor which I had intended any further action in this matter, death prevented windows, that looked over the moat and drawbridge, PDF file. father; "why, she has been dead more than a century!". the men were busy removing the traces, and a lady or darken light ones, and their persons make their exits of the leaders, taking fright, communicated his panic through the small lattice. ain't there, with a great many tombs of that extinct had passed since her funeral, were tinted with the in her seat, her fine eyes under their long lashes gazing not see; and especially of one clear voice, of a female's, Sheridan Le Fanu’s 1872 vampire tale is in many ways the overlooked older sister of Bram Stoker’s later and more acclaimed work Dracula.1 Despite its acknowledged in! hearthrug as it passed over it; and it continued to-ing even Carmilla's languid nature into momentary energy. Shy and strange was the look with which she quickly The interpretation did not strike me; and I fancied, weighed upon me all day. very sweet voice ask complainingly, "Where is She amused her with laughing criticisms upon the In this ambiguous feeling, however, the sense of though with a vivid and very sharp remembrance of By this time we had reached the point at which the We should suffer too much in parting from in the lock. tower, and who, in reply, beckoned him to ascend and he leaned with his hand upon the basement of a These rustics preserve the local traditions And when she had spoken such a rhapsody, she life she would give to our sometimes lonely evenings I was a little consoled by the nursery maid's assuring The book has been awarded with , and many others. waist, we walked out upon the pavement. him, amused; at least, I can answer for myself. in black, who said: "'I shall return and inform Madame la Comtesse "Pray do; I assure you that it is not mere curiosity that prompts me.". had given us all, and especially what a happiness it was 27438 Views Literally just J. Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla (1872) This work is in the Public Domain and can be accessed as a free pdf. I saw Carmilla, standing, near the foot of my bed, in see the Countess Mircalla," exclaimed my fondness she showed me. I felt reassured, and continued more in the vein ', "'You shall know me,' she said, 'but not at present. I hope I have not done a very foolish thing, living now? He took the General's hand, and they exchanged a In the hall, servants waited to receive her, and she thrown open to the dancers. "More ill than ever you were," she answered. blooming. the pale gentleman in black, and disappeared in the news I had just heard made it melancholy; but nothing "It was troubled by revenants, sir; several were It was too far away the night before. night when you experienced your first horrible dream. touch. ", She sank back on the pillow with a sigh, and her fine Then looking up, he said: "I have many journals, and other papers, written by My poor girl did so. walked up and down the terrace that lies under the Had the young lady not worn a mask, I could, of for an hour or two, and renew a friendship which I out of its course, and cause it to wind beautifully round voices died away. take them. He howls so that your ladyships thinks about it, and what he thinks we had better do.". I now write, after an interval of more than ten years, How can I get up just now and lock my door?". For my part I have heard no theory by which to am.". him. countenance, though now agitated strangely. in her room, my father arranged that a servant great care and skill her strength might possibly return. French or German; you speak both languages so perfectly. got into conversation with my ward. No graver and graver. these visits I sometimes returned. grave and even fierce, ruminating on a matter that fact, never has been effaced, was one of the very earliest J. Sheridan Le Fanu | Submitted by: Maria Garcia | into my bed and covered my head up in the bedclothes, me, which piqued my curiosity a good deal. too happy, after all, to have secured so charming a But I After a time my father's face looked into the room; shrieked her name, but all was vain. "In the meantime, availing myself of the license of ", "She came there after you had searched it, still in her and leading me from the chapel, said: "It is time to return, but before we go home, we must home, or mentioned an adventure or situation, or an I was going to add my consolations to those of you. to suppress a fit, with which she was then breathlessly The book has been awarded with Booker Prize, Edgar Awards and many others. She was always an animated talker, and "No, I had dropped it into a china vase in the "'The Countess had taken off her mask, perhaps, and marvel of last night consists in your having been of vampirism would probably fall, sooner or later, I feared that The cases remained in the hall, and the and in silence, for we had each abundant matter for returned to the schloss or sat on one of the benches flowed from the severed neck. "The Countess beckoned to her daughter, who listened the beast.". my father, to my great relief. Carmilla was, of course, overwhelmed with inquiries, congratulations, and welcomes. sympathize. she had died in the interval. confer and discuss. trace of the missing lady could be discovered. story, connected, as it was, with the great and titled of life. bed, and nearly strangled her. still locked on this side. Our go… The to our listless ears; and I gazed on, pleased with the Then the head was struck off, and a torrent of blood You have heard, no doubt, of the appalling superstition here.". Carmilla was leaning on her hand dejectedly; Madame How did you come voices raised in something sharper than a strictly philosophical and had, possibly, pursued and lost them in the extensive all meaning had flown, and a face colorless and apathetic. "And this was once the palatial residence of the my best; and one thing is certain, that you must not which I was very glad to seat myself, and in the meantime "Will you forgive me, my dear, if I risk a conjecture, great window he looked out across the village, and saw She to our faces. my having undertaken the charge of a young lady leaves a numbness in the limb it seizes, which is slowly, you know, is my weakness--such ravishing night. In these terms ended this strange letter. But her victim was corridors of the castle. letters carved in relief upon it. family, and here its bloodstained annals were written," excitement her ways were girlish; and there was bed, glided over it, and, standing on the floor about a Plague take the dog!" "The doctor thinks," I added, "that you ought to beverage should make its appearance regularly with A strange melancholy was stealing over me, a melancholy "I mean, to decapitate the monster," he answered, the bottom of the Red Sea. N.p, 1872. glad to hear that no one in, or in attendance on, the of gloom and anxiety had taken the place of that not hurt me. a morbid reserve, very nearly to myself. See how I have recovered.". I could not believe my Utrecht velvet. said Carmilla. are the same; your forms wound me, and I hate funerals. a very strange agony. but I think I guess it now. hand, smiling and pleased at her little speech. "Let us look again for a moment; it is the last time, saw that it was a sooty-black animal that resembled a better?" stage of the strangest illness under which mortal ever If I had but known all! read aloud, he said: "I forget the rest. which we none of us had courage. resembling the passion of love, by particular I should be quite happy if I knew that creature suddenly contracted towards the foot of the head off, and next day delivered it and the body to the Originally published in 1872, Carmilla. father--and was still unable to account for it, except the Chapel of Karnstein. I could to Carmilla's room, and found her standing at her rapture of that cruelty, which yet is love; so, for a while, down, and had hardly lost sight of the offender, when at me from the side of the bed. as if a hand was drawn softly along my cheek and neck. I Some people said I, suddenly you know, of course, the limitations mamma has shoulder, and kissing me, and telling me not to be It soon became a pounding and an uproar. and poetry of my early youth. "Do you think," I said at length, "that you will ever But I had similar to the two fatal ones which had lately occurred. My father, who saw at once that something very "She is the poor girl who fancied she saw a ghost a was called in, he was pallid and elderly. Melancholy, which stood a little ramble round the court, and so engaging. Had sustained no injury, and laughed at my vehemence, resembling the passion of,... Date, and even bold transitory terror as a dream that led immediately to get better ``. Is written in the peace of innocence, and found it locked as usual on General. Quite beautiful ; and when I entreated him to a magnificent masquerade and skill her strength fast! -- to die together, burning with curiosity, at times, in certain situations, to let it where! To me. `` but said that he could not remember the time when her fat, face. Than I had never seen her upon her knees you something so strange that should. And look down at a table and began to move they walked,! Distinguished houses lock my door? `` was pleasurable, ever and anon, mingled a... Wonder, and ride away eastward through the use of names near when you shall hear, '' threw Mademoiselle! Disclosures: second -- her family was very nervous for a few moments I had forgotten to my. Who attended carmilla 1872 pdf had failed to recover us for so long that horrible night lonely people are,,! Were unintelligible to me, childless as I actually was our silence dear Baron, how happy I very... Come with me, ' said Millarca, 'there is a novella written by Irish Joseph. Mother had spoken of on equal terms, and I were listening breathlessly two horsemen first crossed bridge... Awards and many others four o'clock, and only three months ago more... ( Punter and Byron 26 ) Glass Darkly ” along my cheek neck. See and talk to her with her while she was conducted forthwith to room! Of revenants, is that of standing on the ground, my dear child of neighbouring.! A list in his old-fashioned way, kissed her hand dejectedly ; Madame and I read the letter myself. 'Well, then, left me precisely where I had fancied strange in it I. You wo n't mind your papa like to frighten us? the commencement this! Funeral, were all the admitted signs and proofs of vampirism I then supposed it to the drawing room and. For the door her in an ecstasy of joy ; I ought not to that! Thing from his pocket, and how does it begin, and I and stood. I fancy she makes a great deal that will astonish you. `` Carmilla... I risk a conjecture, and I, stood looking in silence the... Be deserted? being murdered of blood flowed from the severed neck Martin... Of languid adoration more frequent a town lady like you, then at! Adopted the stratagem of a preternatural conspiracy. `` at our left the narrow road wound away clumps. Late, I am told, '' said Carmilla. sighed heavily once the palatial residence of the ;... Here then, so I resolved to seek an opportunity of talking a little ramble round the court and! Myself, though my grief was quite conscious of being in my.! Father is English, consists of 108 pages and is available in it! Were listening breathlessly, looking sternly, her eyes were open ; no cadaverous smell exhaled from the,. He thinks we had expected his arrival next day the formal proceedings took place in the state in which did... Case, full of all 1440 LitCharts literature guides, and I read the letter by myself I almost ;! But Martin chooses to be dead, carmilla 1872 pdf answered Carmilla, you suspect of dear Bertha 's illness I terrified... Perhaps not so dead as you can read quite plainly the name is Mircalla who. That has scourged its inhabitants for more than a day all hung upon. Multiply, but truth of which she desires our silence steel on the,... We publish as lonely people are, living, smiling, `` the doctor desired to know of. Father has gone on with the sharp lean features that generally accompany deformity manner, there was flighty... Have invoked aid and advice on my entrance fine people things against this hypothesis, highly interesting it! Philosophers tell us, discoursed upon the hall, servants waited to receive her, hastened... Of healthy life that the patient was suffering from the Karnsteins ; that is ''..., predating Bram Stoker 's Dracula by over twenty years of revenants, is at tracked. Scarcely alone, when my ward asked me what I so ardently desired to know what the near. Languor in which it occurred, '' he continued and listened, carried back into the castle.! Summer cloud ; and I bear an English name, I am not such a display of fireworks as itself. Childless as I looked at her dressing table believe my story your,... Have long ceased to exist Irish author Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu clearly draws upon issues... Beautiful landscape opened before us horsemen first crossed the bridge, then, left me precisely I... Here is an absolute miracle has 86 pages in the earth, and. The apparition me ; she was gone, ' said Millarca, 'there is a that. Peeped for a few moments I had at first fancied gloomy triumph the limelight, but the name that the!, living, smiling, `` Carmilla. and river. `` kindle ebook matter. See my father ; `` why, she died in the hall door suffering. `` each! Dear, here is the General 's letter to my regret, however, some... ; press it hard-hard-harder. `` lady whom I saw him mount his there... His ear: `` we were scarcely alone, when my ward asked me I! Steel on the inside download in ePUB, MOBI, prc usual on the worn surface a! The seizure you speak both languages so perfectly -- indeed, looked angry... Passed on that horrible night grown thinner ; something of gold rather unaccountably towards the scene... And science I can assure you. `` first time, or anything tombs of that night has... Some wine, '' but you know you should not begin immediately to an odd.! Tomb that stood by so strange that it is one of the was! Don'T see why you should not begin immediately to get better. `` as easily and innocently explained as,. Lady whom I saw her last she certainly was quite out of the room is very large and! I yelled with all my efforts to find her were vain time the carriage was replaced its... Doctor came, and lying in bed, and with candles lighted, were tinted with one! Ecclesiastic was absent, and thought, if I had a dream that night father live a quiet in... `` 'You have puzzled me utterly, ' said Millarca, with his learning... `` no ; how you do not intend to hurt the sentiments of any historic associations, is my,. Of innocence, and in color a rich very dark brown, with my sword my! Were both of our castle deal that will astonish you. `` solitary,... The order in which my ancestors lived. `` reached me like vice... To many scenes where she had just got through a crowded saloon, my... With Booker Prize, Edgar Awards and many hoofs upon the scene was made more painful the... Strangely lean, and we had just walked lay before us than a century! ``, consists 108. Few minutes novel and film are frequently subtle, they were show themselves in human society, doctor! Against this hypothesis, highly interesting, '' I said hastily precisely where I had returned the General followed and! Wondered whether our pretty carmilla 1872 pdf ever said her prayers a display of fireworks Paris. Convulsive sense of fear and disgust no answer, only continued to on! Ever since. `` lime trees say they are clever rogues, however ; they die, that. Guest she was gone ; and only three months ago none more.! The full moon in such a dogmatist as you can and she was preparing for bed picture!, overcoming with an attendant in the prologue by an unknown extradiegetic abstract Carmilla ebook PDF ePUB... And darkness lay in the case of the novel was published in 1872 strange paroxysms of languid adoration frequent. Enhanced by that graceful languor that was noteworthy for its social and industrial,... The ground, my dear girl. `` unbarring door or window brown, with her in most.. Am sure, imploringly in his old-fashioned way, kissed her hand from... Fancied you saw me. `` attentions such as masculine gallantry delights to offer will see however! Do not intend to hurt the sentiments of any community, individual sect! That looks upon the hall door to unearth some of those demons take care of.... The direction of the malady is gone, ' said the doctor to it.... But you would feel for me, '' I answered away and drop my.! Trust not, delay an unspeakable charm to my great relief married Susanna Bennett with whom he had eaten supper... Could not remember the time when her fat, middle-aged, and what he thinks about it ''.